Most romances aren’t forged amidst the rumble of fire engines. For MAJ Lillian Cheah and LTC (NS) Koh Chee Wee, however, their times together in the SCDF became the foundation for their partnership, which is now in its 22nd year.
A Fire Station may seem an unlikely place for romance to blossom. Yet for LTC (NS) Koh Chee Wee, Unit Commander of the 12A Rescue Unit, Singapore Civil Defence Force (SCDF), and MAJ Cheah Ooi Gek, Lillian, Senior Plans Officer in HQ SCDF, it was where their relationship began.
FIRST DATES AND BEYOND
When did it all fall into place for them? Chee Wee remembers it well. “After the RCC, I was posted to Paya Lebar Fire Station, while Lillian was posted to Tampines Fire Station. As Tampines Fire Station was still undergoing construction, Lillian was posted at various junctures to the Division Headquarters, Changi Fire Station and Paya Lebar Fire Station, where I was,” he shared.
Lillian remembers that she made the first move. “His birthday was around the corner and I asked if he had any plans. When he said no, I asked if he wanted to spend the day with me,” she said. Chee Wee chimed in, “I just agreed and did not think too much about it.”
For Chee Wee and Lillian, their shared experiences as SCDF officers helped them to understand each other better. “It’s nice to have someone who understands,” Lillian recalls. Her peers in other professions struggled to understand her challenges at work. With Chee Wee, however, that understanding was implicit.
When asked what drew them to each other, Lillian says, “He’s very reliable, smart, and rational. You know that he will definitely be there for you through thick and thin for the rest of your life.” To this, Chee Wee adds, “She’s very observant and notices the little things. She would always give me little reminders so that I don’t forget anything. To me, she has all the qualities of a good wife and mother.”
Chee Wee and Lillian kept their relationship low-key. Lillian shared, “Not many people knew that we were together until they received our wedding invitations!”
STAYING IN SYNC, INTENTIONALLY
Chee Wee eventually transitioned to a career with the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF). Throughout, they continued to support each other closely. Chee Wee introduced a thoughtful practice which he calls the “Advice or Listening Ear” check. Whenever Lillian returns home and starts talking about her day, Chee Wee often asks, “Would you like advice, or just a listening ear?”
Lillian admits that initially the question felt too clinical and cold. She wondered why he was being objective but soon saw the wisdom in it. “He needs to know what I actually want,” she explains. If she wants to share, he listens. If she wants advice, he chips in with his counsel.
With his past experiences in SCDF and his willingness to lend a listening ear, Chee Wee often helps Lillian to navigate the challenges she faced. In turn, Lillian’s steadiness and attentive nature provides the stability and reassurance which Chee Wee appreciates.
GROWING WITH EACH OTHER
Perhaps the greatest test for them is parenting their three children, aged 8, 13, and 16. When dealing with a teenager’s growing pains, they learned to respond with greater patience and a willingness to listen.
Looking back on Chee Wee’s career transition to MSF, Lillian observes that he has grown significantly. “I think he has transformed into a better communicator and is very patient with the kids. I’m thankful for his support and I’m very proud of who he has become.”
MUTUAL ADMIRATION AND DEEP CONFIDENCE
Chee Wee and Lillian feel that true strength comes from being aligned with each other at various points in life.
As a couple trying to balance their careers with a growing family, their story feels familiar because it resonates with many of us. For them, support does not require big gestures. It can be as simple as doing work over a cup of late-night tea, or the simple act of asking what your spouse needs before trying to fix things.
When asked if they have any advice for couples, Chee Wee says, “For me, it is to listen more and talk less.” Lillian emphasises that couples should “be there for each other and make it last for a lifetime.” This simple and sincere advice speaks volume of an unspoken confidence in their relationship and a deep love for each other.
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