The 7 Types of Prawners You’ll Find in Singapore

You are caught red-handed, scroll down to find out which activities you are most guilty of!

1. The Newbie

They’re always screaming, somewhere.

Could it be CAT 1 outside? Got posted into your favourite unit?

No, it’s just John finally catching one prawn. 

“I’M SUCH A PROOOOOO AT THIS!!!”

What to do when you’re around them:

Keep your cool, cover your ears and slowly walk away from the entire drama mama.  Once they’ve calmed down, congratulate them. They deserve it for their successful catch. Plus, we’re sure that’s how your first time went too.

2. The Prawn-Zoned

Wait so long, still no prawns.

He’s the guy whose phone isn’t beeping while the rest are getting messages from their significant other on their bunk beds. Unfortunately, he too has found himself involved in a “waiting game” with prawns that will never appear, and is forced to watch everyone else catch their prawns while he’s all alone with an empty net. His inner monologue is a constant series of: “Is there something wrong with me? Is it my bait? What do they have that I don’t?”

What to do when you’re around them:

Advise them. Tell them to move on and that there are plenty more prawns in the sea. Then, you should sit with them for the rest of the prawning session so they’ve finally caught a friend.

3. The Social Media Fanatic

 

Everything that they do, it has to be on Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. Hold up, imma – *selfie at the entrance*, *selfie holding a rod*, *selfie of chicken liver*.

100 burst shots later…

When will they start catching prawns? The world will starve waiting for these people. Their attachment to their phones is that of two inseparable lovers, they’ll know what the other is doing at every second. Their phones should feel flattered, because there’s no one else more obsessed with it than them.

What to do when you’re around them:

If you want to have quality time with this fellow, gently distract them from their phones. Do not try to pry it out of their hands. It’s quite repelling, their phones are probably warm from overuse, like a mother hen’s eggs. Grab their phone and you’ll see the mother hen come out.

Two words. Cray cray.

4. The Poser

The Posers act only. Look good, but catch nothing one.

One minute they think they’re Cindy Crawford, next minute they’re Miranda Kerr.

The only difference is the real ones aren’t holding a prawning rod. The Posers don’t prawn like the rest of us do, they have 2333 ways to hold the rod and 3543 ways to sit or stand. They prawn so “sexily” that the surroundings of the pond and the uncles seem to disappear to reveal a runway instead where they’re doing a fashion show for the upcoming line “Summer Prawning Look.”

What to do when you’re around them:

Strike a few poses of your own, be creative with your rod, use it as a fashion cane. If they want to have a sexy battle, we’ll HAVE A SEXY BATTLE! May the prawns be ever in your favour.

 

5. The Emo Nemo

Ah.. here we have the ‘deep people’.

Seeing his mates kena tekan to do a hundred extra push-ups will most likely trigger them, because he can’t help but empathise. Prawning on the other hand, it might just bring about the waterworks. Once they’ve caught the prawn, the reality of the situation starts to sink in and they’ll look at their struggling prawn thinking, “what have I done?”

It’s not their fault, they just feel things deeply.

What to do when you’re around them:

Be understanding towards them. Their emotions are still heightened from their earlier “murderous” act, and they’re still recovering from it. Give them 5 minutes…. or one hour. Anytime now.

 

6. The Celebrity

It’s supposed to be a prawning session but these people seem to be catching more humans than prawns. It’s not hard to spot The Celebrity because wherever he goes, his entourage follows and surrounds him – very much like how you felt when your encik kept hovering around you. When he catches a prawn, one, two, ten people run over and huddle around him to witness it.

And when he raises the rod, the crowd roars and the pond starts to shake as he unveils… one prawn.

What to do when you’re around them:

You join the crowd of people surrounding them, of course! What’s a stage without the limelight?  Also, it’s the perfect excuse to have some of the fame rub off on you, who knows maybe you’ll turn into The Celebrity too?

 

7. The Zen Master

Also known as, The One Who Can’t Be Moved. These folks look so calm and focused when prawning that you’ll start to wonder whether they’re actually prawning or daydreaming. And before you know it, they’re already at their 6th prawn and you’re scratching your head in awe.

What to do when you’re around them:

Empty your mind and join them in their intense prawning concentrating session, because prawns dig that apparently. Soon, many of the prawns will start swimming to your hook too and your Zen Master will give a microscopic nod of approval.

 

Don’t forget to drop by Hai Bin Prawning Facility at our HomeTeamNS Sembawang clubhouse for a promise of juicy prawns heading your way. Have an enjoyable prawning session folks!

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Radiah Maria Belak has made it her life’s dream to create content that lasts longer than the average 9 seconds attention span of a goldfish. During the her spare time, she enjoys going for hikes, taking awkward photos of her friends and gazing at the constellations.

Load More
Something is wrong. Response takes too long or there is JS error. Press Ctrl+Shift+J or Cmd+Shift+J on a Mac.